These are great tips on finding compassion without giving up the status and credibility we need. I particularly like the idea of the “stickiness” of compassion. When we’re co-dependent, we don’t challenge, we make nice. It’s the caregiver archetype at its most dangerous. But more often, we push that compassion into the “shadow,” the unconscious, and the result is what you call “mean leaders.” In western culture, many of us push the caregiver/the compassionate heart into the unconscious, because we over value the individualistic leader — in our case, the ruler, the warrior, and the sage. As with any quality, balance and discernment are key. Sometimes a smile may be compassionate, but sharing it too often (like apologies) causes a leader to lose power (especially for women). Complicated and important.